• If Obama had a son, he would look like Trayvon.
  • If Obama had his way, his daughters would grow up to be Sandra Fluke. Or Lena Dunham.
  • If Obama had a healthcare plan, it would look like Britain. And not in a good way.
  • If Obama had a plan to make abortion “safe, legal, and rare,” it would look like Gosnell’s clinic.
  • If Obama had a football team, it would look like powder puff football.
  • If Obama had a military, it would look like… powder puff football.
  • If Obama had an energy independence policy, it would look like Solyndra.
  • If Obama had an updated First Amendment, it would look like China.
  • If Obama had an updated Second Amendment, it would look like Chicago.
  • If Obama had an updated Fourth Amendment, it would look like 1984.
  • If Obama had an economic policy, it would look like Detroit.
  • If Obama had a racial unity plan, it would look like 1861.
  • If Obama had an equality plan, it would look like Animal Farm.
  • But remember this: if Stalin had a President, he would look like Barack Obama.
h/t @idiott47