The New York Times has a hot new story today: The Rubios got 17 traffic tickets! Granted, four were Marco Rubio's and 13 were Jeanette Rubio's, but because she's Rubio's wife they're also his. I love this fun game of association! Imagine if Jeanette Rubio partied with underage sex slaves at a place nicknamed “Orgy Island?” Or flew repeatedly on the plane called “Air F**k One” belonging to an alleged pedophile? Or what if Marco Rubio pushed to give Russia increased control of uranium supplies in exchange for cash for his foundation?

Why does the NYT hate women drivers?