Progressive ingénue darling personality “Girl” Lena Dunham just released a memoir that is disturbing for any number of reasons – first and foremost being the idea that impressionable young women will actually read such drivel.

So I spent some time this morning compiling a few reasons – based on her own words – to avoid Dunham’s memoir. It required a lot of coffee. And chocolate.

The memoir actually details a scenario in which Dunham sexually abuses her younger sister, Grace.

-If she were a man, she’d likely be getting the Stephen Collins treatment. But she’s a young woman, so “Empowerment!” Right? (Where is that #WarOnWomen narrative when you really need it?)

“I never thought of myself as, like, a funny person.”

-You probably should have gone with your gut.

“I’m always afraid that I’m being unprofessional, yet I continue to sign all my emails ‘XOXO’.”

-The ‘XOXO’ is not your problem.

“Everyone needs something from me.”

-A disappearing act?

“I feel like I don’t watch that many shows with death.”

-Unless you count the souls that die every time “Girls” airs.

In all seriousness: Lena Dunham represents a part of the culture that we need to understand if we are to engage it. But it’s still intensely gratifying to mock it on occasion.